


Homilies & Hymns

by sarahcakes613



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Fix-It of Sorts, Lawyer Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr., M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-25
Updated: 2020-10-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 19:40:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,345
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27191876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarahcakes613/pseuds/sarahcakes613
Summary: Rafael wakes up early on a Saturday morning to find Sonny not in bed.A semi-fixit inspired by Sonny's statement in 21x01; "It's not like I didn't practice Barba's summations in front of a mirror."This takes place in a world where Rafael made the decision to leave the DA's office after 19x11 and Sonny becomes the squad's ADA about six months later. No baby, no Peter Stone, no angst.
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Dominick "Sonny" Carisi Jr.
Comments: 12
Kudos: 69





	Homilies & Hymns

**Author's Note:**

  * For [StillNotMeShh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/StillNotMeShh/gifts).



> Sandra, you are one of the most delightful people I know on the bird app. Your enthusiasm is infectious, and I love that we are friends! Happy birthday!
> 
> ps to anyone who notices, I know I did that poll and evening won but Sandra voted for morning and she got the veto on this one.

The best part about weekends now that Sonny is no longer on the NYPD’s payroll is that when Rafael wakes up and rolls over, he knows he’ll roll right into his partner’s body.

Or at least, that’s what he knows in theory. In practice, on this particular Saturday, he rolls over into an empty – but still warm – dip in the mattress.

He looks over at the alarm clock on Sonny’s nightstand. It’s barely 7:00, a time of day that shouldn’t even exist on weekends as far as Rafael is concerned. He’s awake now, though, and missing a very essential part of his morning routine.

He untangles himself from the mess of blankets and tucks his feet into a pair of slippers before padding down the hall to the kitchen to turn on the coffeemaker. He finds it already gurgling, but the kitchen is empty of erstwhile detectives.

He returns to the bedroom and notices a light peeking out from under the door to their en-suite bathroom. The door isn’t latched, and he prods it open.

“ _– try to complain to anyone who will listen, and one of two things will happen. You'll get fired, or you get laughed at. Why? Because they don't really want you here in the first place. Year after year. Until you start to believe it yourself._ ”

Sonny is in a pair of boxers and bare-chested, standing in front of the mirror, gesticulating to an invisible audience. Rafael recognizes the words as his own, from the case against Optimum Air. It had been his last grand jury, and he’d been proud and happy to end his time at the DA’s on a win like that.

He stands in the doorway silently, watching Sonny repeat his words. He understands now why Sonny is awake when he should be in bed. He’s been with the DA’s Office for six months now, has tried a handful of cases in that time. His very first trial case had been a win, but Sonny still feels like he’s only one mistrial away from being asked to hand in his pass and report back to the 16th precinct.

“ _Can you be demeaned by a culture? I say yes. Can it humiliate you? You bet it can. Can it actually rape you? Sadly, the answer is yes. The law states that if you take another person's property, you are committing a crime. I stand here before you today to assert that –_ “

Sonny stops abruptly, having spotted Rafael in the mirror. He flushes, his cheeks going splotchy with embarrassment, and his hands lower to clutch at the sink.

“Sorry, I didn’t hear you.” Sonny mumbles.

Rafael pushes away from the door and steps up behind Sonny. He puts one hand on Sonny’s back, between his shoulder blades, and presses with the heel of his hand, forcing Sonny to straighten his posture.

“There’s a difference between slouching and casual posture,” he says. He puts his hands on Sonny’s hips and squares him so he is facing the mirror head on. “You want to be in a position where you can make eye contact with any juror without turning your entire body too much.” He kisses Sonny on the jaw and steps back. “Try again, from the beginning.”

Sonny takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly.

“ _You know what, I don't think you have a clue about anything you heard here today, you know how I know? You just don't look that intelligent. And you, miss, where the hell did you get that dress? Salvation Army wouldn't even put that on its shelves._ ”

As he speaks, he takes a few steps to the right, keeping his face focused on the imaginary jury. He pauses, pretending to look down at specific jurors. He even makes the same moue of disgust that Rafael knows he made when he’d insulted that unsuspecting woman in the patterned dress.

His body language reads stronger now, but Sonny is still holding himself in, still trying to lessen himself. Rafael knows Sonny feels like he is too much, like he takes up too much space, is too loud. Sonny knows from years of watching Barba that it’s a positive in the courtroom, but it’s one of those things he has trouble accepting in his own self.

Rafael walks over to their shared closet and flips through their tie rack until he finds the one he wants. His hand skims over the silky fabric as he draws it off the hanger. It’s the tie Sonny wore when he took his first case to trial, a deep red with thin diagonal white stripes. On his way back to the bathroom he also grabs one of Sonny’s jackets from where it is draped over a valet chair.

“Put this on,” he instructs, handing the jacket to Sonny. He gets a furrowed brow in response, but Sonny takes it obediently and puts it on over his bare torso. Rafael drapes the tie over Sonny and leans over his shoulder, watching his hands in the mirror as he deftly ties it and draws it up into a neat Balthus knot.

“When you’re speaking, you are controlling the space you’re in,” Rafael says, brushing the shoulders of the jacket. “Take up every inch of space you are entitled to.”

Sonny runs his hand down the tie. “I keep thinking I should wear something flashier.”

Rafael meets Sonny’s eyes in the mirror and he shakes his head. “You don’t need to. I’m not saying you can’t, but it’s not necessary. Flashy patterns are a choice I made to ensure I was noticed. Eyes are drawn to you already.”

Sonny quirks his mouth into a rueful smile. “I can’t help but feel they’re lookin’ at me and finding me wanting.”

“What do you mean?”

Sonny turns his back on the mirror and faces Rafael. “I’m the first permanent ADA for the squad since you left. You know how long it took them to stop treating me like I was still a cop, and I still got people telling me I look like one.”

“Ah,” Rafael cups Sonny’s cheek and gives him a soft smile. “You may always carry yourself like there’s a badge on your hip, but that doesn’t negate the law degree. You’re always going to have detractors who will say anything they think will get in between the gaps in your armour. You belong in the DA’s office and no one can take that from you.”

He turns Sonny back around to face the mirror. “You know how hard it was for me to make the decision to leave.”

Sonny hums in acknowledgement.

Rafael kisses the skin below Sonny’s ear, his hands coming to rest on Sonny’s hips. “I think one of the reasons I felt I could do it then was because I knew you were going to be coming in soon enough to replace me. I knew I was leaving it in good hands with you.”

Sonny’s forehead smooths as the furrow in his brow softens. He wraps Rafael’s arms around his stomach and leans back against the other man, relaxing into his embrace.

“Oh Rafael,” he says. His eyes meet Rafael’s again in the mirror. “I couldn’t have done it without you.” He turns in the embrace, wrapping his arms around Rafael’s shoulders and pressing kisses into Rafael’s hair. “You left a space and you helped me grow to fill it.” He murmurs.

“Come back to bed, mi tesoro,” Rafael murmurs back, tilting his face up for a kiss. It’s a slow lush kiss, one with no intentions of going anywhere, a kiss that says hello and good night and I love you and I want to share kisses like this with you forever.

Sonny lets Rafael lead him back to bed, lets him strip off the jacket and tie and maneuver him into a pile of blankets still warm from their body heat. There will almost certainly be more time for self-doubt later but for now, Sonny is back where he belongs, in the safety of Rafael’s arms.

**Author's Note:**

> The brilliant Nads came up with the line "You left a space and you helped me grow to fill it." months ago and this entire story was a vehicle for me to use it in something.


End file.
